When I touched my twenties, I began honing my skills of profound pondering, owing to my interests in art. Back then, it was cool to feel artistic with erratic moods and going deep on anything as trivial as hairpins or pebbles. I began to find substance out of form. To find meaning out of being. Although a lot has changed since, I sometimes still slip into my thinking mode quite regularly, and one thought continues to cloud my thoughts eternally.
Like most artists, I love my space. It is when I learn the most about myself. Eversince I became a young woman, I have seriously pondered about the essence of life. Why am I born?
What do I choose to die as? It is a thought that makes me the core of the universe. And I know I will spend a lifetime figuring out the significance of my being.
So while the thought hovers around me, it alienates me from the intricacies of a mundane life. It is then that the subject becomes the spectator. And it is when I begin to communicate with my soul on my most loved debate of life as a woman.
The only learning achieved so far is of our idea of existence. Most of us believe to be born to grow, earn, marry and procreate.
But the real meaning to our being runs deep. I believe, with every new day we breathe life into our souls. We are born to create a form of an invisible substance. As women we have two choices, to choose to live either in reflected glory or inspiring independence.
But prejudices and societal myths shadow us in our journeys, clouding most minds effortlessly. Unfortunately it is we women that add fuel to the fire. We have understood that the only meaning to our existence is to be somebody’s daughter, wife or mother. All our lives we are happy to carry forward a name that defines not our best abilities. Our identies are unpaid endorsers to our parents or spouses, and the kitchen, is forever our only greatest arena.
All through, we fail to look within and let our identities grow only because we think we are born to nurture our surroundings. What about nurturing our souls?
It is hard to digest that we are at ease to live for our families without giving a chance at independent survival to our souls. We create our borders, we confine our capabilities and even succeed in proving that this is the best we can do without even visiting the threshold of our potentials. And if ever so, venturing out of our zones is justified only when we flaunt a fancy degree.
Why are we women so comfortable in another’s skin? Why don’t we search for our own musk? We confidently flaunt attitutes that are made out just of our father’s earnings or by the wealth of our husbands. What are we so content about? Although our essence of being is not subjected to financial independence alone, it is a start towards light. Financial independence gives you a confidence that you can be all that you are and much more, without giving up on life. And it has nothing to do with your social standing.
An identity is priceless and only when women get a taste of it will they enjoy the indulgence. Nothing satiates me more than my thirst to get better and touch the corners of my potentials. And I can never imagine to quench this thirst.I wish more women understood this to find the true meanings of their lives. For the answers lie only within us. And the society is no mirror to it.
We will still turn to our loved ones to borrow, but, we will now only borrow values from our parents and love from our spouses because we will know just how to create our identities.